There are a lot of folks that can't understand how we ran out of oil here in the USA.
Well, here's the answer: It's simple.........nobody bothered to check the oil.
Didn't know we were getting low. And of course the reason for that is geographical.
All the oil is in Oklahoma and Texas,
and all the dipsticks are in Washington, D.C.
Subject: Fw: S. Florida Voter
OK - Here's the demographics on the south Florida voter -
They can play 10 bingo cards at a time and not miss a number.
They can juggle 53 numbers and pick 6 for the Florida Lotto,
as well as select their Pick 3, Fantasy Five, and Mega Ball
numbers.
They can read 5 papers,4 scratch sheets, and handicap 3 horses
in the Tri-fecta at the horse race.
They can spot a shanked golf ball in an acre of elephant grass 300yards
away.
They can eyeball a non-resident in a 1,000-unit subdivision at 200 yds.
They can report a scarred manatee at 10 fathoms to the Greenpeace
hotline.
They can take 37 different colored pills every morning and never messit
up.
But they can't read a 4-line ballot they've had published in the newspaper
and mailed to them a week in advance and pick one candidate...
You figure it out !!!
Subject: The political debate
The two major party presidential candidates today
agreed that Americans are seeing too much inappropriate
material in popular entertainment. However, they
disagreed on the details.
The Republican candidate, George W. Bush, stated that
there is too much bloody violence in the movies and on
television.
Vice President Al Gore, his Democratic opponent, stated
meanwhile that the media present Americans with too much
sex and frontal nudity.
So in other words, Bush says there is too much gore and
Gore says there is too much bush.
Subject: Lawsuit
I just wanted everyone to know that I have started a class action lawsuit
against the State of New Jersey. > > I wanted you to hear it from me before you
read about it in the paper. What happened is, I bought a Lotto ticket a
couple weeks ago and after reviewing my picks, I noticed that I ( in a honest
mistake ) punched the wrong numbers. What I meant to punch actually
were the correct numbers and I should be awarded the 44 million dollar prize.
I also have a lawsuit against the State of Pennsylvania
(where I went to college). After thinking about my SAT scores, I think there is
a chance that I may have punched the wrong answers on several
questions. The questions were ( at times ) very misleading and the scorecard was
confusing. Had I scored better I could have gotten a better job and I
would be making more money.
County by County map
By Rev. "Curt" Tomlin
Major USA Ret & Pres. of The Christian Alert Network
CONCLUSION: For over 24 years, this writer, using punch card processing equipment
to process every thing under the sun, from local church membership to highly
classified information pertaining to atomic weapons, missiles, enemy targeting
and much more, "CHAD" was not a problem .
Given the vast amount of personal and practical hands on experience as noted above,
this writer can guarantee and, given the opportunity to work with the actual punch
card ballots in Florida, can prove beyond any shadow of doubt that "CHAD" was not
a problem in obtaining an accurate machine tabulation of all votes cast in the
state of Florida by means of the punch card.
FINAL CONCLUSION: Given the above, I can assure the American public that any manual
count of puch card ballots will, without question, be far less accurate than any
machine count, especially if those tabulations are conducted by volunteers,
untrained and inexperienced in "punch card processing."
It is more than obvious, that the Gore contingent, realizing that the vast majority
of average Americans have never been exposed to the "actual punch card processing"
beyond simply seeing a punch card, have seized upon this opportunity to mislead the
average American as to the real problem with the vote counting.
The so called "CHAD" problem with the count is simply a smoke screen, employed by a
very sore looser and in so doing is casting the average American as a blooming idiot.
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