Subject: Fw: S. Florida Voter
OK - Here's the demographics on the south Florida voter -
They can play 10 bingo cards at a time and not miss a number.
They can juggle 53 numbers and pick 6 for the Florida Lotto,
as well as select their Pick 3, Fantasy Five, and Mega Ball
numbers.
They can read 5 papers,4 scratch sheets, and handicap 3 horses
in the Tri-fecta at the horse race.
They can spot a shanked golf ball in an acre of elephant grass 300yards away.
They can eyeball a non-resident in a 1,000-unit subdivision at 200 yds.
They can report a scarred manatee at 10 fathoms to the Greenpeace hotline.
They can take 37 different colored pills every morning and never messit up.
But they can't read a 4-line ballot they've had published in the newspaper and
mailed to them a week in advance and pick one candidate...
You figure it out !!!
Subject: The political debate
The two major party presidential candidates today agreed that Americans are seeing too much inappropriate
material in popular entertainment. However, they disagreed on the details.
The Republican candidate, George W. Bush, stated that there is too much bloody violence in the movies and on television.
Vice President Al Gore, his Democratic opponent, stated meanwhile that the media present Americans with too much
sex and frontal nudity.
So in other words, Bush says there is too much gore and Gore says there is too much bush.
Subject: Lawsuit
I just wanted everyone to know that I have started a class action lawsuit against the State of New Jersey.
I wanted you to hear it from me before you read about it in the paper. What happened is, I bought
a Lotto ticket a couple weeks ago and after reviewing my picks, I noticed that I ( in a honest mistake )
punched the wrong numbers. What I meant to punch actually were the correct numbers and I should be
awarded the 44 million dollar prize.
I also have a lawsuit against the State of Pennsylvania (where I went to college).
After thinking about my SAT scores, I think there is a chance that I may have punched the wrong answers on
several questions. The questions were ( at times ) very misleading and the scorecard was confusing. Had I
scored better I could have gotten a better job and I would be making more money.
By Rev. "Curt" Tomlin
Major USA Ret & Pres. of The Christian Alert Network
CONCLUSION: For over 24 years, this writer, using punch card processing
equipment to process every thing under the sun, from local church
membership to highly classified information pertaining to atomic weapons,
missiles, enemy targeting and much more, "CHAD" was not a problem .
Given the vast amount of personal and practical hands on experience as
noted above, this writer can guarantee and, given the opportunity to work
with the actual punch card ballots in Florida, can prove beyond any shadow
of doubt that "CHAD" was not a problem in obtaining an accurate machine
tabulation of all votes cast in the state of Florida by means of the punch
card.
FINAL CONCLUSION: Given the above, I can assure the American public that
any manual count of puch card ballots will, without question, be far less
accurate than any machine count, especially if those tabulations are
conducted by volunteers, untrained and inexperienced in "punch card processing."
It is more than obvious, that the Gore contingent, realizing that the vast
majority of average Americans have never been exposed to the "actual punch
card processing" beyond simply seeing a punch card, have seized upon this
opportunity to mislead the average American as to the real problem with
the vote counting.
The so called "CHAD" problem with the count is simply a smoke screen,
employed by a very sore looser and in so doing is casting the average
American as a blooming idiot.